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Heart Full of Birds

by Summer Russell

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1.
Equinox 03:44
Touched alike by dark and light Now I feel it all There the winter turns to spring Here the summer turns to fall Flowers at my feet Fire in my head Old sun, lend me strength To go where I am led Through the woods, unto the heart Of autumn I belong See the days retreat again Watch the shadows growing long Goldwork barely begun Spiraling to the ground Old trees, help me to be Graceful in falling down Lay my head against the loam The way a lover might Silver moss and petrichor Fill my lungs with second sight Old earth, riverbed scars Run where the wisdom lives Show me how I should hold All that the rain may give Turn my eyes and face the night That comes to settle in Though the moon has changed her face Though the stars have moved again Still I know this sky Well as the sky knows me Old soul, rest for a while Lost in the memory
2.
Maybe I was a mermaid In my life before you Maybe I just forgot how to swim How it felt to be wild, what it meant to be free And the love that I made with the sea To be one with the water To breathe deep of the blue To be borne on the current, and then To be held to the only heart I've ever known And I felt every beat as my own I am finished with sailors Singing songs that they don't understand For although I tried I just wasn't made for the land Maybe I was a mermaid Taken out of the deep But tonight I return to the ocean And my true love will rock me to sleep For I once was a mermaid So I will be again I will be again I will be again
3.
Gutter Rose 03:06
For that sweetness that I sought I went off looking where I ought not I got myself into a bind so many times But I don't learn fast So I kept seeking in the night I thought if I could get it right Somebody good might say Stay At long last And maybe there could be a place Where someone's looking at his own pace Who walks the line and keeps a weather eye Decent and dutiful For my fairy tale I chose How in the gutter grows a rose But there is light enough To show That she is beautiful I know I've read too many books I know that's not the way the world looks And anyway, I am too scarred to wish too hard For something too pure Though I'm not looking anymore If it came knocking at my door I just might let it in But it would wait Till I was sure
4.
Is there a doorway somewhere Waits for an innocent hand Opens Onto an innocent land Point on a lesser compass Leads to a greater sea Still, safe Deep as a world can be Love, be gentle See me true All that matters I will give to you Smile on a sun-shy morning Blush from a soft white rose Warm, close Yours is the place I chose Speak in a voice like honey Touch but the heart you hold Spin these hours into days of gold Love, be gentle See me true All that matters I will give to you Prisms of light and color Stardust that sings in the clay Some things Only the distance can say Sharing an unmapped language There is no word for “more” All we need is behind this door Love, be gentle See me true All that matters I will give to you
5.
I Would 04:12
You were always quiet, and I always liked that You saw more than you said When you spoke up, there was always reason And those thoughts inside your head Bloomed inside my chest And tightened up my throat Larks in exaltation beat against my ribcage I could not sing a note But if I had the chance right now I’d take you to my room, kiss you like I should I don’t often feel the need to feel that part of me But with you I would And I always wondered if you ever wondered You never said a word But when you got close, I could feel a thrumming Like your heart was full of birds Crowded wings and dawn songs Asking for release And I’d surrender skyward, fallen in their clutches If I could bring you peace If I had the chance right now I’d take you to my room, kiss you like I should I don’t often feel the need to feel that part of me But with you I would If I had the chance right now I’d take you to my room, kiss you like I should I don’t often feel the need to feel that part of me But with you I would
6.
The Price 03:26
There is nothing bought so dear As that which gives itself away Though you may pay tomorrow Or you may pay today When the rosebuds that you gather Ask the oldest sacrifice You will offer up your lifeblood Without ever thinking twice For all you love there is a price For all you love there is a price It is nowhere written What is found and what is lost For every risk there is a reason For everything there is a cost And there are no tears more bitter When they fall for sweeter days Or the hope that love worth crying for May wait along the way When the rosebuds that you gather Ask the oldest sacrifice You will offer up your lifeblood Without ever thinking twice And I have bought and paid for All that I am certain of: For every love there is the loss For every loss there is the love
7.
How green was your garden? I never will know I stood by the gate once But you were not home Now it's covered in ivy And littered with stones For three years and forever No lilies have grown How sweet were your kisses? I wish I could say You left one in the cup At my table one day But I can't bear to taste it So there it will stay It's three years and forever Since you went away How clear was your laughter? Oh, that I could tell As bright as a blue jay It rang in the dell And it rings in my ears Though I know very well Three years and forever's The last time it fell How old is this valley? I might ask the hills Long lifetimes of tears But they've not had their fill As I lie in the grass I think they never will Three years and forever They're holding you still

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Crowded wings and dawn songs
Asking for release

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released October 6, 2023

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Summer Russell Santa Cruz, California

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